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287 stories tagged with satire.
INEC has granted political parties extra time to upload candidates, after several aspirants reportedly discovered deadlines are not mere campaign suggestions. Nigerians, meanwhile, were reminded that democracy is a group assignment where only voters do their part on time.
Nyesom Dwala
Government negotiators have entered the petrol-dollar breakup, promising a “mutually beneficial resolution” immediately after three more meetings and one committee. Nigerians say they just want fuel stations to stop pricing petrol like concert tickets.
Nyesom Dwala
Experts warn Nigeria’s mental health sector may soon be replaced by comment sections, where one post can summon 400 therapists, two prophets, seven lawyers and an uncle with lion DP to diagnose your trauma before your data finishes.
Nyesom Dwala
In a major win for Nigerian entertainment journalism, 47 blogs have confirmed a celebrity regained consciousness today by opening their eyes, entering a car, and refusing to explain the implications to anxious netizens.
Nyesom Dwala
A new streaming feature now fast-forwards past greetings, vibes, Lagos traffic gist and “before we get into it,” reducing the average Nigerian podcast from three hours to the exact eleven minutes where someone finally mentions the topic.
Nyesom Dwala
Lagos officials hailed the rains for achieving what decades of water projects could not: delivering free, indoor water to residents without asking for meter numbers, connection fees, or patience. Drainages, still missing, have been invited to next year’s stakeholder meeting.
Nyesom Dwala
Officials hailed the N1.1 trillion “saved” as proof that Nigeria can achieve miracles without roads, hospitals or electricity getting in the way. Citizens have been urged to appreciate the invisible wealth before asking irresponsible questions like “where is it?”
Nyesom Dwala
As INEC dusts off its 2027 timetable, experts say Nigerians can now see the next election more clearly than the roads, jobs, and light promised in the last one. Politicians have also begun their sacred pilgrimage to streets they will forget immediately after collation.
Nyesom Dwala
In a bold move to protect viewers’ data bundles, Big Brother has reportedly banned peace, maturity and emotional stability, warning Season 11 housemates that any contestant who cannot turn “good morning” into a full-blown reunion episode will be sent home.
Nyesom Dwala
Economists say the N1 million aso ebi may briefly rescue the economy, as banks prepare wedding loans and Lagos traffic braces for “Peller Junction.” Uninvited Nigerians have also demanded voting rights in the marriage after emotionally contributing to the budget online.
Nyesom Dwala
After decades of unpaid fieldwork at fuel stations, passport offices and anywhere “network is down,” Nigerians can now earn formal qualifications in waiting, sighing and being told to come back tomorrow.
Nyesom Dwala
After becoming Nigeria’s unofficial japa helpdesk, ChatGPT has decided to formalise its suffering with a citizenship application, NIN and possibly a voter’s card, provided it can explain why every cousin abroad is broke only on phone calls.
Nyesom Dwala
WAEC says the compulsory paper will test essential skills like danfo fare negotiation, NEPA emotional resilience, and smiling through rent hikes, noting that unlike Mathematics, Nigeria has never offered candidates multiple choice.
Nyesom Dwala
The Nollywood project, titled Quote Tweet, will follow two Nigerians arguing for three days about a topic neither understands until it becomes about tribe, feminism, Tinubu, Messi and jollof. Producers say the film ends only when everyone’s data finishes.
Nyesom Dwala
A fictional study says Nigerians can now turn one headline into 14 hours of constitutional analysis, economic forecasting and family WhatsApp warfare—without the inconvenience of opening the link.
Nyesom Dwala
A Lagos cleric has disrupted Nigeria’s prophecy market by launching his 2027 revelations before 2026 could finish loading, complete with Platinum packages, bonus 2028 spoilers, and instalment plans for believers whose destiny is currently on a tight budget.
Nyesom Dwala
Organisers say nominees will be judged on fake tears, strategic pauses and the ability to say “I take full responsibility” without accepting blame, as PR teams prepare premium apology packages complete with Bible verse and ring light.
Nyesom Dwala
With aso ebi now priced like land in Lekki, banks have introduced “Owambe Credit” for Nigerians determined to celebrate love even if their account balance files for divorce. Analysts warn wedding attendance may soon require collateral, two guarantors and a prayer point.
Nyesom Dwala
After decades of delivering premium hope without the burden of delivery, the Federal Ministry of Promises has finally been recognised for its most reliable service: announcing tomorrow before yesterday can ask questions.
Nyesom Dwala
Officials say the breakthrough will finally replace “only God knows” with a firm nine-month waiting period, giving applicants enough time to learn French, miss their flight, and become different people from their passport photographs.
Reuben Datti
After retiring “logistics challenges” with full honours, cabinet officials say Nigerians can look forward to a fresher, more innovative explanation for the next fuel scarcity — expected to arrive shortly after the queues, panic buying, and one uncle shouting “how much per litre?”
Nyesom Dwala
The agency says normal darkness has been restored after a “technical oversight” left fans spinning, fridges humming, and Nigerians briefly suspecting national development. Investigators are now searching for the staff member behind the shocking outbreak of efficiency.
Nyesom Dwala
Opposition leaders say their new Grand National Rescue Coalition will finally rescue Nigeria from the last group of politicians who promised to rescue Nigeria, many of whom were also present at the launch.
Reuben Datti
The church says it has verified Brother Tunde’s testimony after he entered Lekki Phase 1 and parked legally on the first attempt, without bribing security, circling twice, or surrendering his destiny to one boy in a reflective vest.
Reuben Datti
