Can We Finally Admit That We All Want to Japa?

It's time we stopped pretending.

As a nation, we have become experts at publicly declaring, "Nigeria is the greatest country on earth," while privately asking strangers on LinkedIn if their company is "currently sponsoring skilled workers."

Our patriotism now depends largely on whether the visa application was approved.

The average Nigerian no longer asks, "How are you?"

The modern greeting is, "Have you heard from the embassy?"

Once upon a time, travelling abroad was a luxury. Today, it has become a group project. One cousin is writing IELTS. Another is learning German on YouTube. Someone's aunt suddenly discovered Irish ancestry. Even the family WhatsApp group has been renamed "Operation Japa."

Nobody wants to leave dramatically. We simply want to "go and see something small." That "small something" somehow involves never returning except for December weddings and owambe parties.

The funniest people are those who loudly condemn "Japa syndrome."

"Nigeria is our home!" they proclaim.

Three weeks later, they upload a photo beside snow with the caption, "God's timing is the best."

Even government officials have unintentionally embraced the trend. Every time they assure Nigerians that brighter days are ahead, another thousand people quietly begin pricing international passports and asking friends abroad whether winter jackets are truly necessary.

Perhaps the greatest evidence that everyone wants to japa is our reaction whenever someone announces they're relocating.

Nobody says, "Why are you leaving?"

The first question is always, "Congratulations! Please, how did you do it?"

Maybe we should stop calling it brain drain.

At this point, it's beginning to look more like a nationwide relay race, where everyone is patiently waiting for someone ahead to create space at the departure gate.