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30 stories tagged with nigeria.
The Federal Government has moved to honour Nigeria’s most reliable national service: complaint. Citizens will soon get a public holiday to lament fuel, light, potholes, data tariffs and everything else, before returning home to complain that the holiday itself is too late.
Nyesom Dwala
The governor has assured residents that no completed project will be left behind under his watch, especially those built by his predecessors. Roads, hospitals and bridges are now being shortlisted for fresh commissioning so the administration can also enjoy the glory of the ribbon.
Nyesom Dwala
The FG has launched a self-service portal so civil servants can now suffer administrative delays from the comfort of their phones. Workers say the new system is a bold step forward: no more office queues, only electronic disappearing files and the familiar Nigerian sound of digital silence.
Nyesom Dwala
FAAN has introduced a Pre-Queue Queue at Lagos airport, where passengers now must first stand in line to qualify for the real line. Officials say it’s a passenger experience upgrade, while travellers say they’ve finally found a queue that queues them back.
Nyesom Dwala
The Nigeria Police has launched a new “Dialogue First” policy, promising to ask suspects politely why they’re running before taking action. Officials say the arrangement will be reviewed immediately if the suspect enters a keke, jumps a fence, or enters full Usain Bolt mode.
Nyesom Dwala
The Federal Government has unveiled a bold new economic plan, “Suffer Now, Smile Later,” assuring Nigerians that prosperity is just a few sacrifices away. Officials say the exact date of the smiling phase is still being processed, pending fuel price, food price and divine intervention.
Nyesom Dwala
