Governor to Recommission Projects He Didn’t Build · National Cake
SatirePolitics1 min read
Governor Promises to Commission Projects He Didn't Build
The governor has assured residents that no completed project will be left behind under his watch, especially those built by his predecessors. Roads, hospitals and bridges are now being shortlisted for fresh commissioning so the administration can also enjoy the glory of the ribbon.
Nyesom Dwala
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A group of men stands on a bridge as one man in white cuts a red ribbon.
A state governor has assured residents that his administration will not hesitate to commission projects executed by previous governments, insisting that "development deserves fresh ribbon-cutting regardless of who paid for it."
The governor, who spoke while inspecting a list of completed projects inherited from past administrations, said it would be unfair to deny the people the joy of witnessing another elaborate commissioning ceremony.
"It is not enough for a project to exist," he said. "It must be recommissioned under my government so that citizens can appreciate it from a new political perspective."
He explained that roads, hospitals, schools, and public buildings completed several years ago would be scheduled for fresh commissioning, complete with banners, cultural displays, and live television coverage.
Government House sources disclosed that ministries have been directed to identify projects with "high ribbon-cutting potential," irrespective of the administration that initiated or completed them.
A senior official, who pleaded not to be named because he was not authorised to speak on the matter, said some agencies had already begun polishing signboards bearing the names of former governors to ensure they looked "presentable" before being covered with new plaques.
Residents reacted differently to the announcement.
"I drive on one of those roads every day," a commercial driver said. "If they are commissioning it again, I just hope they remember to repair the potholes before inviting the cameras."
Political observers said the development could usher in a new era where public infrastructure enjoys multiple official unveilings throughout its lifespan.
Meanwhile, unconfirmed reports indicate that the governor is considering the inauguration of a government office that has been occupied by civil servants for over five years, on the grounds that it had never been commissioned under the current administration.
At the time of filing this report, preparations were reportedly underway for the unveiling of a bridge that commuters had been crossing daily since 2021.
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