Scientists Confirm Nigerians Can Now Survive Entirely on 'It Will Be Better'

For decades, the international community has puzzled over one question: How are Nigerians still functioning? This week, researchers finally believe they have the answer. According to a groundbreaking study, Nigerians no longer depend on food, electricity, or functioning public services to survive. Instead, they have evolved to run almost exclusively on one renewable resource: "It will be better."

The discovery reportedly came after scientists observed a Nigerian motorist spending six hours in traffic, buying fuel at a price that required emotional preparation, and still ending the day by saying, "No problem, tomorrow go better."

"What we're witnessing is extraordinary," said the lead researcher. "In most countries, prolonged hardship leads to collapse. In Nigeria, it leads to WhatsApp motivational quotes."

Government officials have welcomed the findings, describing hope as the country's most sustainable natural resource. A spokesperson announced that plans are underway to formally classify optimism as a mineral deposit and place it under the supervision of the Ministry of Solid Minerals.

"This is why we're not worried," the official explained. "Every time prices go up, Nigerians simply produce more hope. It's environmentally friendly."

Meanwhile, economists have proposed replacing the naira with pure optimism.

"The exchange rate has become unpredictable," one analyst said. "Hope, however, has maintained a consistent supply since independence."

The proposal has reportedly received widespread support from politicians, who have spent decades investing heavily in the nation's hope reserves while making surprisingly few withdrawals from the promise account.

At press time, millions of Nigerians were said to be looking forward to a brighter tomorrow, unaware that tomorrow had quietly postponed itself until further notice.