Blackout Reported Across Parts of Edo, Delta, Ondo and Ekiti, and Honestly, Residents Say They Only Found Out Because the Fan Stopped Judging Them

Good news: the light has gone out in four states at once. Bad news: that is the most coordinated thing the power sector has done all year.

A blackout has been reported across parts of Edo, Delta, Ondo, and Ekiti. Four states. One darkness. Finally, some national unity. The politicians have been trying to unite us for decades, and NEPA, sorry, the power sector, has done it in one evening.

Now, let us be fair. In Nigeria, “blackout” is a bold word. It suggests the light was there before. Some of us have lived a lifestyle where the light is a guest who visits, stays for twenty minutes, takes the best seat, and leaves without saying goodbye. So when the report says “blackout,” many residents only nod and ask, “Was there light before?”

Take Auntie Efe, a woman I invented but whom you definitely know. Auntie Efe sells cold drinks, and her business model is simple: the drinks are cold when the light is on and warm when it is not. As of last night, her entire stock had become tea. A customer asked, “Is it chilled?” She replied, “It is in a spiritual condition. Pay and find out.”

Meanwhile, the generator owners are having their moment. In every street, there is a man who suddenly becomes the most important person in the neighbourhood. His generator is the only sound that matters, a deep, proud rumble that says, “I am here, and I am expensive.” Children run to his gate. Phones are charged like an offering. Somebody asks for a “just small charge” and ends up staying for dinner.

Supporters of the system will say the grid is complex, and they are right. It is a delicate thing, like a toddler holding a glass of water. Critics will say that after all these years, the toddler should be able to hold the glass. Both are correct, but only one of them has a battery pack.

And let us not forget the real heroes: the candle sellers, the inverter technicians, and the young man who gets a good fee for finding “where the fault is.” He climbs a pole with great confidence and returns with no explanation.

The ordinary person’s role in all this is simple. You must stay calm, keep your phone charged, and never tell your landlord that the fridge is not cold. He will remind you that the light “will be back soon.”

Anyway, we wish the affected states well. May the light return, may the fridge forgive us, and may our generators hear good news.