After years of being told to “believe in the Nigeria of our dreams,” Nigerians have reportedly asked for the dreamer’s full name, address and exact coordinates. Officials insist the country exists, but only in PowerPoint, campaign manifestos and keynote speeches.
After years of being repeatedly told to "believe in the Nigeria of our dreams," millions of Nigerians have reportedly requested clarification on whose dreams were being referenced.
The confusion began after another government official urged citizens to remain hopeful, insisting that "the Nigeria of our dreams is just around the corner," despite several corners having already been checked.
"I'd like to respectfully opt out," said 32-year-old Chinedu, who claims the Nigeria appearing in official speeches bears little resemblance to the one he meets every morning on his way to work.
"My dream Nigeria doesn't require three backup plans for electricity, internet, transportation, and banking before 9 a.m. Apparently, we subscribed to different dream packages."
Government sources have denied the existence of multiple Nigerias, explaining that citizens simply lack "vision."
"The Nigeria we are describing definitely exists," one official assured reporters. "Unfortunately, it can only be seen through PowerPoint presentations, campaign manifestos, and keynote speeches."
To bridge the gap, authorities have reportedly launched the National Dream Alignment Programme, where citizens will attend compulsory seminars on how to appreciate infrastructure that is "already completed in principle."
Participants will receive complimentary branded caps, bottled water, and a certificate confirming they have successfully imagined uninterrupted electricity for six consecutive months.
Meanwhile, political analysts say the disagreement is largely philosophical.
"One group keeps talking about potential," an analyst explained. "The other keeps talking about potholes. They're technically discussing the same country from entirely different dimensions."
At press time, officials had unveiled a new slogan encouraging Nigerians to "Dream Responsibly," warning that excessively realistic expectations could delay national development by introducing facts into the conversation.
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